Take my hand and I go under, part 2

Aug. 19th, 2017 01:20 pm
dolorosa_12: by ginnystar on lj (robin marian)
[personal profile] dolorosa_12
This time two weeks ago I was drinking champagne with my mother, sister, [twitter.com profile] thelxiepia, and two family friends, worrying about the torrential rain that had suddenly tumbled out of the sky, and getting ready to head off to get married. In the end, my fears about the rain were unfounded: the storm stopped about half an hour before the wedding ceremony, and the skies cleared, meaning sunshine and warmth for photographs, and for our guests to enjoy sparkling wine in the gardens of our reception venue.

The wedding ceremony itself was wonderful. Many of my married friends told me they barely remembered anything from the day itself, and that everything passed by in a sort of blissed out blur. For my part, I can remember everything. We got married in Shire Hall (the registry office in Cambridge), in a room that unfortunately only seated fifty people (included me, Matthias, our photographer, and the celebrant), so many of our guests were only able to be invited to the reception. However, I was happy with the mix of people who were able to attend the ceremony: a nice mix of bridal party, family, and close friends from Cambridge.

Matthias and I entered the ceremony to the beautiful sounds of 'Black Water Lilies' by Aurora. We didn't write our own vows, and the celebrant mangled Matthias' middle name (pronouncing it in the English, rather than German way), but none of that mattered. We had two readings. The first, by Matthias' sister, was in German:

Da ist jemand,
der mich nimmt,
wie ich genommen
werden will;
der mich aufbaut
wenn mich etwas
niederdrückt;
der mich zu Herzen nimmt,
wenn mir etwas
über die Leber gelaufen ist;
der mir Gehör schenkt,
wenn mir das Leben
Rätsel aufgibt;
der für mich ist,
wenn sich alles gegen mich
verschworen hat.

Da ist jemand,
mit dem ich zusammen wachsen,
vielleicht sogar
zusammenwachsen darf.


Translation:

There is somebody
Who accepts me as I want to be accepted
Who lifts me up when something weighs me down
Who embraces me when something is bugging me
Who listens to me when life is posing me riddles
Who supports me when everything is conspiring against me

There is somebody with whom I may grow together
Maybe even grow entwined


(The play on words in the last stanza doesn't translate well, but basically involves two very similar sounding verbs, zusammen wachsen and zusammenwachsen, which I guess in English would translate as the two different meanings of 'grow together'.)

[twitter.com profile] thelxiepia read the second reading, an excerpt from one of my favourite poems, 'Homing Pigeons' by Mahmoud Darwish:

Where do you take me, my love, away from my parents
from my trees, from my little bed, and from my boredom,
from my mirrors, from my moon, from the closet of my life, from
where I stop for the night ... from my shyness?


Our friend Levi (for whom Matthias was best man four years ago) and my sister Miriam were our witnesses. While the marriage certificates were being signed, we played two pieces of music: 'All is Full of Love' by Björk, and 'Tonight We Burn Like Stars That Never Die' by Hammock. Here is a photo of us signing the certificates -- I think that gives a fairly accurate impression of our facial expressions for most of the day! After the ceremony, people left the room to the sounds of 'We Own the Sky' by M83. We then went off with our parents, my stepmother, our sisters, Matthias' brother-in-law and nephew, and Levi and [twitter.com profile] thelxiepia for photos in the gardens of our reception venue. Following this, the reception began, with drinks in the gardens, and then a four-course meal.

Everyone was really impressed by the food, which made me really happy, since we had put a lot of thought into the menu and food is generally the thing I most remember about events such as weddings. I was particularly glad that the vegans and vegetarians attending had made a point of thanking us for their meals, and that it hadn't simply been a meal with the meat removed but no substitutes provided. The cake was a three-tiered citrus cake: the bottom cake was orange, the middle lemon, and the top lime.

After speeches by Levi, my family friend and former editor Gia, and Matthias and me, we inflicted our absolutely glorious eurodance/'90s music playlist on everyone. It wasn't the danciest of weddings I've ever been to, but I had fun dancing, and so did those who joined in. I think there's some video footage of me, [twitter.com profile] thelxiepia and the other sraffies dancing to 'Saturday Night' by Whigfield floating around, but I'm not going to try to track it down! I'll leave that glory to your imaginations.

The entire wedding and reception were wonderful, and I wouldn't change a single thing. I was worried about so many things, and not one of them happened. I feared I wouldn't remember the day, or that I would spend the entire time fretting about other people, or that I wouldn't get a chance to eat, to dance, to talk to the people I wanted to talk to, and none of that eventuated. Instead, the whole thing was just a lovely party, with the person I've chosen to spend the rest of my life, and all the people we love around us. There were people there I've known since birth, since preschool, one secondary school friend (*waves at [livejournal.com profile] catpuccino*), friends from my postgrad years at Cambridge, sraffies (Philip Pullman fandom friends), and people I had just met that day. It really meant a lot to have my sister there (and indeed to have three 'sisters' as bridesmaids: my sister by blood, my sister by marriage, and my sister by choice), as well as those relatives who made the trek from Australia, although I was sad that not many of them were able to do so.

About marriage itself I feel complicated feelings. I'm an atheist, so I was always going to have a secular wedding, and don't view the ceremony itself as being sacramental. My own parents never married (nor is my father married to my stepmother), and I don't believe that marriage is necessary to be a good partner or a good parent. But I have always had a deep love of rituals and ceremonies marking important moments in peole's lives, and unlike my own parents, I always knew I wanted to get married if circumstances allowed, and that I wanted to have some kind of party to celebrate my wedding. Being married didn't make me feel differently about Matthias, or that our relationship had changed in any perceptible way (although, being a migrant, I am painfully aware of all the ways being married privileges a person in terms of immigration, visas, and passing on citizenship to one's children). Rather, I felt in the ceremony that we were publicly declaring something we have long felt. It feels odd to talk about 'my husband', or describe myself as someone's wife, but I imagine this will change over time.

The world is dark and frightening, and Matthias and I have gone through a lot to be able to live together as migrants in a country that is becoming increasingly xenophobic, but our life together is a light that gives me courage to keep working and trying and learning and growing. I wish that same light -- wherever you find it -- for all of you.

(no subject)

Aug. 18th, 2017 10:21 pm
jhameia: ME! (Default)
[personal profile] jhameia
So today was going to be a bit more productive. I absolutely meant to go to campus and finish clearing my office, bring home some stuff, and then turn in keys. And swim in the afternoon.

Instead, turns out the Pokemon Worlds Championship in Anaheim was happening so Niantic released Kangaskhans and Unowns in downtown Anaheim. Someone in the Pokemon Go Riverside FB group was offering to drive folks out. This is how I ended up in a car with three white Americans who did normal things like listen to metal music and go to baseball games on the road to Anaheim... a young couple and a dude who's probably closer my age, possibly older, jumping in even later than I did.

We parked in the convention center around 2.30-ish? and walked around trying to catch things until maybe 6.30. There was a lot of walking. We left around 7-ish, stopped by In-and-Out on the way, and yeah.

So. Got a lot of walking done!

Dear femslashex creator

Aug. 17th, 2017 08:01 pm
aphrodite_mine: barrettes in reddish hair read 'feminist killjoy' (Default)
[personal profile] aphrodite_mine
Hello! Thank you for creating something for me! 

Likes: For the most part, what I want out of my fandom experience is not what is already doled out in canon. I'm generally fond of the various canon iterations of these characters and their relationships, so if a request seems to contradict that for you, I'd prefer AU or poly over cheating. I have a STRONG affinity for themes of domesticity, being kind and helping one another, replacement (being with someone because you/both of you cannot be with the person you really want to be with, being with someone while thinking of someone else), forced space-sharing scenarios like sharing a bed, cuddling for warmth, or snowed in. Fake dating/fake married. I don't mind AUs that displace in time/space, but like to keep things like power and relationships at least close to the same. I like all kinds of women. Neurodivergence. Women holding their own, defending themselves. And cuddles. I like cuddles. I love explicit consent, even (especially?) when sex is not involved. Non-binary/genderqueer people being respected. 

Dislikes: Racism. I realize that racism is discussed in several of these fandoms, so if you do address that (and I encourage you to!) I'd just rather avoid any new/more intense/awful forms than are already depicted. The "everyone knew you liked x/were gay except you" trope. Explicit sex that isn't part of a story or characterization (PWP). Several of these fandoms also include non-binary or not explicitly cis female characters. While I don't have any ride or die headcanons, I do ask that you respect what is presented in canon.

Art-specific Notes (if applicable): I can give or take detailed backgrounds -- what I'm interested in are the characters. Please don't skin-lighten. I strongly lean towards not wanting NSFW art -- nudity/explicit sex acts tend to make me uncomfortable. But sex poses while clothed are A+.

Additional notes and possible inspiration live at my dear author tag. I would be happy to answer any questions anon here, or through [personal profile] gloss  or [personal profile] saturnofthemoon . If you (assigned creator or treat creator) would like a fandom- or pairing-specific prompt, please ask. Otherwise, my spoons are terribly low and providing so many would be quite difficult for me.

I am requesting:
Degrassi Next Class: Grace Cardinal/Zoe Rivas, Grace Cardinal/Zoe Rivas/Rasha Zuabi, Yael Baron/Lola Pacini
Degrassi the Next Generation: Fiona Coyne/Holly J. Sinclair, Mia Jones/Jane Vaughn
Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency: Amanda Brotzman/Bart Curlish, Farah Black/Amanda Brotzman
The Good Place: Eleanor Shellstrop/Real Eleanor Shellstrop | Vicki, Tahani Al-Jamil/Eleanor Shellstrop
GLOW: Arthie Premkumar | Beirut/Rhonda Richardson | Britannica, Carmen Wade | Machu Picchu/Rhonda Richardson | Britannica, Ruth Wilder | Zoya the Destroya/Sheila the She-Wolf
Big Love: Nicolette Grant/Margene Heffman/Barbara Henrickson, Nicolette Grant/Barbara Henrickson

You should also know that I have a very involved full-time job, and two children at home (including an infant), so I may be slower to respond to queries and may be a little late with feedback when creations go live. I will do my best to be prompt, but sometimes things happen.

<3, aphrodite_mine

icons: Movies

Aug. 17th, 2017 09:02 pm
meganbmoore: (book of life: elena)
[personal profile] meganbmoore
 70 x The Book of Life
58 x Jack and the Cuckoo Clock Heart


here )

i'm on the move for you.

Aug. 17th, 2017 04:17 pm
goodbyebird: Wonderfalls: Jane thinks this book sucks. (Wonderfalls)
[personal profile] goodbyebird
* Zavvi is currently selling their previous threads boxes, two for the price of one. So if you're in Britain you can get two books and two t-shirts for 10£. Ending up with an Aliens and a Fury Road t-shirt, plus Charlie Jane Anders' All the Birds in the Sky ([personal profile] renay is vomiting rainbows in the reviews, so I'm guessing it's an alright book hehe), and another book that looks ok.

* [personal profile] musesfool is running an OPI Summer Challenge, and that is pretty much the funnest premise ever. So many good potential prompts to choose from.

* If I ever attempt to give the third season of Twin Peaks a fourth chance, somebody please come punch me in the mouth.

* Found out the next episode of Game of Thrones was leaked, but alas, I'd already been spoiled. Thanks, twitter.

* I really need to finish Mass Effect Andromeda when I'm home, but I haven't even looked at my Playstation the past two weeks *sigh*

* Of course, dumb me just started another game on my laptop, plus a couple of playthroughs on youtube, because why do anything that makes sense ever. Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice looks all kinds of intense, and I'm holding off watching more than the first play video since I do want to play it myself. But I'd need headphones I can use, hmmm... Meanwhile, I did make some icons.

(it really does look - and sound - amazing)

* Also, a vid rec list should be forthcoming shortly.

(no subject)

Aug. 16th, 2017 10:41 pm
jhameia: ME! (Default)
[personal profile] jhameia
Man I need to get to bed earlier tonight. I went to bed last night at 2, woke up at 10am, which is enough sleep, but by the time I got going, it was afternoon, blergh.

I took a Lyft over to Cellar Door Books, and picked up some books. Linda, the owner, asked me for help getting Latin@ YA and I was like "UH" and had to rack my brain for some names, and asked Twitter. Went to KFC to have lunch, and remembered about WNDB's resources, so I went back to the bookstore.

Anyway, because I was so helpful, Linda told me I was welcome to any of the ARCs in the back room, so I went round the back, and picked up Justina Ireland's Dread Nation, which I'm pretty excited about.

I walked to campus to pick up some more books and clear out my mailbox. Vonnie and I spoke a little--I guess the weight loss is SUPER visible to some people. IDK, I think I look mostly the same.

Walked home with my tea set and water filter, and tomorrow I'll grab the kettle, and then have to figure out how I'm bringing home the posters.

I went to swim later than usual--5pm. Did 4 sets of 6 again, and it got cold again, so I sat in the hot tub again. IDK, I'm not a fan of it. I bought a swim cap and new goggles last night and wish I'd thought about it sooner. I should have also bought a lap counter, too, now that I think of it. But as September rolls in, it will probably get colder? So I'll be at the pool less, probably. I'm gonna see if I can push my laps up to 30 before fall officially gets here, because that would be nice as a personal best. Then I gotta figure out what to do next.

I went to MacDonald's again tonight, this time with a coupon for a Happy Meal. I actually liked it! Four nuggets, half a small fries (SO SMOL!), a chocolate milk, a thing of yogurt (yogurt!!!) and I was actually quite full after. I think that might have been the combo of the yogurt and the milk. I had tummy issues after, which I'll chalk up to the milk, so next time I'll get it with the small orange juice and see how my stomach plays with that, and hopefully it's not the yogurt.

I was thinking of walking to campus to put away some books I'd strewn across a table which was not mine, because Brittany has office hours tomorrow (I think?) so I really shouldn't have all that stuff there. But I thought I'd go home and try to get some sleep early instead, and try waking up earlier.

Reading Wednesday

Aug. 16th, 2017 11:33 pm
saturnofthemoon: (Kushiel's Dart)
[personal profile] saturnofthemoon
Hello to everyone that I met at [community profile] tv_talk.

What are you currently reading?

The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood

Well, I can add this to my mental list of classics that are more famous for their concepts then the actual writing. I like it well enough when the uneven tone doesn't make me want to pull my hair out? However, this is a dystopia that I could do without given current events. Good thing it's only 300 pages.

The Prince of Medicine: Galen in the Roman Empire by Susan P. Mattern

Interesting, for a biography of an antiquity era privileged white man. (Actually, I take the white part back. There were plenty of non-white people in high ranking positions in the Roman world. We just know that Galen was born in Greece.) Galen had an ego the size of the solar system. Also contains descriptions of the sanitary conditions in Rome that are as disturbing as they are fascinating.

What did you just finish reading?

A Dance With Dragons by George R. R. Martin

This book further proves my point that the series hit its peak with A Storm of Swords. I mean, it was good, but could have been so much better if GRRM had used an editor. And what is it with his obsession with missing fingers? More to come if I ever make that giant post about ASOIAF.

What do you think you'll read next?

Definitely Anansi Boys. I also plan to continue Kushiel's Legacy. I regret giving away my copy of Kushiel's Dart, as I could use it for worldbuilding reference.

I've been itching to read a good urban fantasy novel...or epic fantasy...or sci-fi that isn't depressing. My kindle is full of such material. I've decided that I will quit buying books after my birthday in October, until I've read at least half of the content on my Kindle. Things have gotten ridiculous.

There's a job interview tomorrow morning that I'm trying and failing not to be pessimistic about.

I miss Persephone. Should probably stop saying that.
havocthecat: (mfmm phryne mac walking)
[personal profile] havocthecat
More 'Miss Fisher' Coming in 2018, As Movie Trilogy Gears Up For Filming

Here's to hoping that this is for real! Also that Dot and Mac are in it! Miss Fisher isn't the same without Dot and Mac (or Bert and Cec and Mr. Butler and Jane, but Dot and Mac are my favorites).

what i'm watching in August

Aug. 15th, 2017 09:10 pm
meganbmoore: (Default)
[personal profile] meganbmoore
here )

I've barely had tie to more than speed skim any social media the last few weeks. Too tired from work to give it or reading the time and energy I used to. Hopefully that changes soon.
st_aurafina: Shaw in Relevance, with golden lights (POI: Shaw fancy)
[personal profile] st_aurafina
Title: Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters
Fandom: Person of Interest
Rating: Teen
Words: 52k
Characters/Pairings: Root/Sameen Shaw, Harold Finch/John Reese, Harold Finch/Grace Hendricks, John Reese/Mark Snow, Michael Cole, Robert Hersh, Joss Carter, Kara Stanton, The Machine, Bear
Warnings/Content: Sentinel/Guide AU, mind-bonding, show level violence, show level torture, emotional hurt/comfort, canon character death (Michael Cole). Some Mark/John dubcon in chapters 4 and 5. Follows some events from Ep 1.10 Number Crunch, Ep 1.23 Firewall and 2.16 Relevance.
Notes: Written for [community profile] wipbigbang 2017.

Thank you to my amazing betas: [personal profile] lilacsigil and [personal profile] musyc. You guys were awesome and got me from "I want to write POI Sentinel/Guide fic with soft face touching" to actually getting it posted.

Title is from the Elton John song. ("Subway's no way for a good man to go down.")

Summary: In 2001, Harold advised on a project called Cascade, not knowing he was a Guide himself. Years later, he and John, a Sentinel on the run from Cascade, must help Shaw, who has just lost her own Guide when the Project turned on her. Complicating matters is Root, searching for Harold's Machine and interfering with their rescue of Shaw.

Also at the Archive

Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Epilogue
havocthecat: the lady of shalott (Default)
[personal profile] havocthecat
Like [personal profile] celli, who will be very understanding when she gets into work this morning and sees that saying "ground beef" and "spaghetti" in combination to me has prompted a 400+ word essay touching on the basics of on my personal theory of what goes into a good red sauce (the various types of meats or lack thereof), how and why why I learned to cook the way I do based on my mother and maternal grandmother's food and personal histories and theories of economizing, food history back into the Roman Empire, and food science. Which I don't go into depth on, because it's early and also it's work email, but still.

Also she has prompted my meal planning for a bastardized primavera sauce for later this week, which is an entirely different type of pasta sauce. Though it does have mushrooms in it, and parmesan, which will contribute nicely to the umami. (I really can't stop myself.)

(Also it might be time to try another run at that delicious fresh fava bean and parmesan salad, even though fresh fava beans are a gigantic pain to peel. But it was SO GOOD. I just need to remember to get a loaf of good sourdough or French bread to toast first to soak up the sauce.)

Also she will forgive me for not ending a nested parenthetical properly.

Though she will laugh at me. Probably a lot. (I will deserve it.)

But the nice thing about pasta sauce is that I can cook it gluten-free and she can still come over and eat it ANY TIME. We can have a GF pot and a gluten pot of pasta. Which she knows. This is the joy of pasta. The pots wash and the gluten comes off. It's not like flour, which gets in the nooks and crannies of the KitchenAid and stays EVERYWHERE.

Though I do have a nifty recipe for GF peanut butter cookies from Smitten Kitchen if we ever want to get together and bake something. I could use a hand mixer or a wooden spoon instead of the KitchenAid. Also you do the GF stuff first, before you get the flour in the air, so that you don't cross-contaminate.

(no subject)

Aug. 14th, 2017 09:42 pm
jhameia: ME! (Default)
[personal profile] jhameia
So I've been reading in bed, on my phone. That's going pretty okay.

Today, I went to campus, and joined a Moltres raid on the way there. On the way back home, Lewis texted me, saying he was done teaching, so I told him I'd be down to go raiding some more if he had a car. He does, so, we go downtown, we join a Lugia raid, then move over to a Zapdos raid. We wander around spinning stops, come across a couple who had raided with us, and decide to head down to Jurupa Valley for a Moltres. We have to hang out a while, because people are taking time to get there, but with 8 people, we get the Moltres. Then as a group, we head out to an Articuno raid, where we join another group, and make it a raid of 19 people.

I got 4 out of 5 legendaries. Pretty good streak thus far. Lewis finally has a couple of legendaries in his 'dex, too.

When I got home, I decide, well, the sun's going down, but the water might still be warm, so I head out for a swim (this is around 6.40pm). And, well, not only is the sun going down, but the air is WINDY, and the temperature's dipped under 30'c, so the water is warmer, and just, brrrrr.... it's cold enough that I decide to do three sets of 6 laps, which brings my personal best up to 24 laps. Someone else also swam, he came in later, but left earlier. I was gonna skedaddle home right after getting out of the water but it was SO COLD I leapt into the hot tub nearby instead to warm up. It's kinda awkward being in a hot tub with someone else there who you're not talking to!!!

So, yay personal best, but, dammit, my dinner is so fucking late as a result =/ I really must get my day moving earlier so I can eat at actual meal times.

Femslashex Dear Creator Letter

Aug. 13th, 2017 07:32 pm
evewithanapple: joo-ran takes a cherry from yeon-duk | <lj user="evewithanapple"</lj> (silenced | burning up all of our choices)
[personal profile] evewithanapple
(to be completed)

Harlots (TV)
Violet Cross/Amelia Scanwell

The Black Tapes Podcast
Alex Reagan/Amelia Chenkova

The Raven and the Reindeer - T. Kingfisher
Gerta/Janna

Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Inej Ghafa/Nina Zenik

Sticker sheets of kisses to press

Aug. 12th, 2017 04:35 pm
st_aurafina: Shaw in Relevance, with golden lights (POI: Shaw fancy)
[personal profile] st_aurafina
I got my 50K fic off to my second beta/ameripicker. I feel weird. I, uh, finished something. It's due to be posted on the 15th. What even?

Interesting things I didn't realise until I had to edit 50K of my own writing )

I have actually written a lot of things this year!

Tinee Linkspam:
- via [personal profile] musesfool, OPI summer challenge
Leave prompts! (Please leave some more POI prompts!)
- From Facebook, Clydesdale foal leaves the stable for the first time - tinee leggy baby, big world, what do? How do you even horse?
- Also from Facebook, this terrible curse upon some burglars. CW: creepy doll faces
- From my local paper, big news in this part of the world: Giant puzzle solved. (The puzzle is literally a puzzle.)
- From McSweeney's via [personal profile] kalloway, I’m a Google Manufacturing Robot and I Believe Humans Are Biologically Unfit to Have Jobs in Tech. (Rolling my eyes right out of my head at that google dude.)
- From My Modern Met, What Happens When a Bird’s Wings Sync Up Perfectly with a Camera’s Frame Rate. (I have dreams where stuff like this happens, like where the laws of physics are apparently broken)
- Free crochet pattern: Stingray purse or pal (I'm not sure why not both? I could be pals with a purse.)

Root/Shaw things from my endless tumblr wanderings while I was writing 50k of fic:
- Silver Lining - a Root/Shaw doujinshi. Pls pls [personal profile] lilacsigil, read this to me?
- POI OST You Are Being Watched - this is brilliant. Gifs from the final scene over the score for the theme.
- Winter Soldier!Shaw is kinda… Swol - I am all over this idea as an AU.

The Runner (Voigt)

Aug. 9th, 2017 09:47 pm
cahn: (Default)
[personal profile] cahn
Oh man, this is a dense book. So many things going on in this one.

One thing I admire so much about all the Tillerman books is the way that the characters are so complex and rfull that they all stand alone. You could read this book without knowing one other bit about the Tillerman family, and it would still be a great book. But it's also in some ways the central book of this series — it shows you where everything else came from.

Theme and motif: several things going on here, at the same time. [personal profile] mildred_of_midgard pointed out the breaking and building motif. Bullet is a breaker; he doesn't build; Patrice also tells him he's not a builder. His brother John is a builder, John says. And Bullet shoots OD, and isn't able to rescue his mother… It's a hard book. But… Bullet, of all three of the Tillerman children of that generation, comes to a point where he accepts his life, which it's not clear the other two have done (they certainly had not come to that point when they left the Tillerman family).

There's also a pronounced racism arc, which interestingly carries over in a big way into Stranger, although it's a completely different thing in Stranger, of course.

There's also a boat again, in a confluence of boat and gift — Patrice makes Bullet a boat, as a gift (Bullet pays him for it, but it really is a gift), and Bullet gives it to Abigail — and that boat gives her a way to separate from her husband (I mean, not literally, more's the pity, but at least to manage that relationship with slightly more grace).

There's no music in this book, except square dancing from the jukebox (which is a very temporary and superficial form of connection, though connection nevertheless), and Bullet's and Abigail's memories of Liza singing, which connect them to her memory and really nothing else (well, maybe Bullet and Abigail to a certain extent). His father has squelched all the music — that which, in this cycle, makes family and found family.

I guess, maybe, the theme is growing up? Identity? This is the only book so far where I feel like it's hard for me to get a handle on it, because it's a book that I think generally sort of defies description. Like Bullet himself. He's described as being alone and separate, a man of bronze, a hero who just happens to be underage at the time. But he's also written as having a really finely-tuned sense of other people in a lot of ways, although completely oblivious and/or flat-out offensive in a lot of other ways. Of course, most people are a combination of those two things (especially in adolescence), but not to the extremes that Bullet's written — quite frankly most of the scenes with Bullet and Abigail in them just completely baffle me, because they understand each other's laconic words and I have no idea what they're talking about. (Please enlighten me! What does Abigail mean when she says Bullet used to have a good sense of humor? What does Bullet mean when Tommy says he thought better of Bullet, and Bullet says, "No, you didn't"? I think the former is just that Bullet hasn't yet had the idea of cooking breakfast for Abigail — and I think the latter is Tommy thinking everyone is just like him, and therefore he didn't think better of Bullet — but I don't know.)

Bullet thinks a lot about boxes, the way we box ourselves in, and his epiphany at the end is that we all are going to have boxes, we just get to choose whether we have boxes that we're comfortable with or not. I think maybe the book really is about the way we choose what limitations we work with, and what we do within those limitations.

But really I don't really know what the book is about. It's about the Vietnam War and the way the fear of the draft permeates everything; it's about race relations (or the lack thereof); it's about running cross-country; it's about how authority perpetuates itself; it's about a kid from an emotionally abusive family who is himself kind of violent; it's about all those things but it's not really about any of them.

Also, wikipedia tells me that in Homecoming James (who Liza was pregnant with, last Frank had heard — about a year ago) is 10 and Maybeth is 9. So you know what happened is that as a result of seeing Bullet in this book ("Frank's mouth drooped down a little at the ends. 'If I had the fare, I'd go up there right now, tonight; I could use a dose of Liza.'" And on the next page: "'I wonder if… do you think Honey'd give me the money to get to Boston?'"), Francis went away and went to visit Liza, who had just had James a couple of months previously, and Maybeth was the result. I… did not realize it was possible to hate him more than I already did, but IN FACT IT IS. Although violence is not my thing I… am kind of cheering Bullet on when he wrecks Honey's car (although to be fair it isn't at all Honey's fault. But still). (ETA 8-12: Um. Yeah. That really sounds like I think violence against innocent people is totally okay... which no. I should have said that I feel a lot of empathy for Bullet, and I do, but "cheering" is a bit much, yeah. Thanks mildred.)

July media log

Aug. 9th, 2017 07:54 pm

Purity

Aug. 9th, 2017 08:21 pm
lea_hazel: Typewriter (Basic: Writing)
[personal profile] lea_hazel
The more I write (and I've been writing for more than fifteen years, half my life or longer), the harder it is to ignore the murkiness of the writing endeavor. I write original fiction and fanfiction, and I also write reviews. The things I look at when I write reviews are sometimes the same as what I examine when I'm writing, but just as often totally different. That can create an absurd type scenario where I criticize a series of books or games for repeating variations on a certain trope, but still be writing that trope into my own original fiction. Not even (necessarily) to subvert it, and on the whole as a media consumer I prefer aversions to self-conscious subversions.

The most obvious case that comes to mind for me right now is a multi-chapter fanfic from years ago that I never finished. This included both a love triangle and an antagonistic, hate-to-love type romance, all wrapped up together. And this was at a time when I had an even stronger aversion to both than I do now. And these were the central threads of the plot, not some supporting B-plot. More recently -- I even wrote a DW post about it -- I was writing a nation of inhuman people as analogues of a real cultural group (my own, but still), which is a thing I've strenuously objected to in the past.

And now there's my Yuri Jam game, if it gets off its feet. When I was coming up with the concept, I was mainly thinking about a cutesy idea of "mad scientists", a kind of character trope that has lost all credibility to the point where it's automatically camp and humorous, in a self-aware way. At least in theory. It's impossible, however, for me to ignore the underlying creepiness of the story, even if I'm trying to tell it from a point of view that places value judgments on the protagonist's choices, and even f the game is built in such a way that it locks the player out of making any truly outrageous character choices. I have to find a way to write around and through it, and address it head-on while still allowing the game to be a little funny.

And I find myself wondering how it is that I keep finding so many corners to paint myself into.

*cracks knuckles*

Aug. 9th, 2017 12:19 pm
goodbyebird: Elementary: Joan is 100% done with your shit. (Elementary tired of your shit)
[personal profile] goodbyebird
Ugh. I have got zero percent of anything done in over a week. NO MORE HOME FROM WORK AMNESTY.

Let's see how much I can get done in one day. )

Why yes, I am having caffeine. Sleep schedule be damned.

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