Okay, I had no idea Cersie actually encourages rape. That's pretty much the only way to make me dislike a female character. Although, this, I admit, just makes me despise the author even more. As far as I have read, Cersei is the only female character who actually seeks power that's outside her gender confines, and she is evil. Sigh.

On the second point, I haven't actually read Cersei POV chapters, so I can't comment on it. However, my intereptation (based on what I have read) was that she WANTED power first, and then realized that she couldn't have it as a woman.